Style Invitational Week 1506: Poems with New Words; win limericks
Say a rigid exec, “When I hire, I choose butts and legs that are worth admiring.” He returned to HR, who held out his hand: “Goodbye! Because it’s clear sir, you’re going to retire soon.(Mark Raffman, Reston, Virginia) Mr Dumpty sadly gone, his remains strewn across the lawn, he climbed far, way too much highOn this wall – why, oh why? It seems that his friends encouraged him. (Kevin Ahern, Corvallis, OR) A British guitarist named Stan was playing a concert in Cannes, when a member of the public threw rocks and an ember… And that’s when the Briton hit the fan. …
(Madeleine Begun Kane, Bayside, NY)My kitchen got a cheerful makeover: neon yellow and pink went wild! To what do I owe This mysterious gleam? only two highlighters hooked by my child.
(Christy Tosatto, a full-time RV nomad submitting bids near St. John, New Brunswick)
Hhave a problem to solve that has weight?
IDoes it make you feel less skillful?
NOTnever scared! Stay calm!
Jthrough vigilance, you
Ssometimes finds that there is still a little help left.
(Melissa Balmain, Rochester, NY)At my campsite, I am surprised to see A black and white beast near my knee. Although the tail that pops up is his, the surprise is: high-tailing the party is me. (Coleman Glenn) A man came to Hippocrates; said The man: “Look, on my elbow there is a lump, And it hurts – makes me scream.” Doc said, “I wish I could help you, sir, but ‘First, don’t arm yourself’ was my oath!” (Karen Lambert)
Hippocrates tried something new When his days as a doctor ended: He started cutting his hair at beauty school, where he taught stylists not to hurt. (Chris Doyle) About Hillary he was frantic. “Lock her up!” made the crowds energetic. Thus, the boxes they found in his club will be intended to do even more poetic justice.
(Michael Stein, Arlington) He spoke of a hip seal he knew; She also seemed interested. “Ooh, that place down the street Where people meet?” Then he took out his x-rays to see. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama)He took documents with him, spontaneously, in a safe in Florida, kept them hidden. Now his fans, near and far, Just to keep it consistent, All shout, “Lock him up!” (No just kidding.)
(Mark Rafman)Trump’s view on the documents he had hidden:“It’s BS! Who said it was forbidden? They are mine, free and clear! Besides, they weren’t even there – you planted them! What is it, I’m joking ? ”
(Sharon Neeman, Pardes Hanna, Israel)
Dock dickory hickory,The mute mouse must have received a shock When the sound of a chime stopped its ascent. What a weenie, cold armed by a clock!
(Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Michigan)The internist loved the old clock, but his words left the seller in shock: “Even if the wood is beautiful, I will not pay full price: I’m an idiot hickory doctor. (Jeff Loren, Seattle) A gentleman wearing Versace Ate with gusto and got it all slotchy. In a hurry, he tried to use water and very stupidly dried it – with a hibachi. (Stephen Gilberg, Silver Spring, Maryland) “I have a bad case of hiccups,” said Beth, “It won’t end and it scares me to death. I hope I find a cure soon, but I’m not quite sure I will – I’m not holding my breath.
(Kirk Miller, Richardson, TX) Joe Manchin is not a country hillbillyBut he made many townspeople ill With his waffles and moans And his pampering faces: He changed horses while he was deep in cricket.
(David Johnston, Elkridge, Md., who was last awarded Invite Ink in 1998) To be covered in sweat is hydrotic,And in college, I was getting so neurotic: every exam was a stressor… Once a physics teacher said, “Relax, you look semi-aquatic!”
(Frank Osen, Pasadena, CA) As a defensive player ran under a fly ball, he couldn’t quite watch his position. When it cost him the match, he got drunk with shame. So it’s been twice since he’s been whipped by a high ball.
(Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)On the Highway, my teenager sped up. “This car is wrong and I’m right!” So I said, “If there is danger, And you choose not to give in, You will be right but you will also be dead.”
(Karen Lambert) Putin behaves like Hitler, Wants to carve up Ukraine like a whittler. It’s a new Russian tsar with a weird chutzpah (compensating for the parts that are smaller?)
(Allan Zackowitz, Brookeville, Maryland)
“Hip, hooray!” it sounds so boring, so blah – Like congratulations, it’s missing I do not know what.Also, more specifically, why not another joint? “Elbows mazel tov!” “Huzzah punch!”
(Daniel Galef, Tallahassee)My medical the story Finished; It seems colitis and flatulence run in my family, doctors say. No surprise there because, hey, I keep hearing “Like peter, like son.”
(Chris Doyle)It’s time to toast! I was happy to obey, So I raised my glass to the sky. I finished my high ballAnd I checked my eyeball… So where is this “mud in my eye”?
(Beverley Sharp) I missed the story, couldn’t defeat him (and didn’t do much to finish him off). I should have been wiser; So says my adviser, Who tells me that I am doomed to repeat it.
(Coleman Glenn) This is sure to delight her boyfriend Tommy: “Under the sofa I hide pastrami, and there is more meat that is stored just behind the chest of drawers! Well he said, “Let’s play to hide-the-salami.
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia) A hive is a home for a bee A bird nests in a tree A hole is a home For a mole or a mouse And a Palm Beach resort with lots of rooms for top secret documents is a home for me – because I must obey all laws, including the laws of the limericks. (Joan Welsh, Arlington, Va., after Mary Ann Hoberman’s poem)